What It Really Means When You Call Your Partner “Daddy”

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Calling your partner daddy has absolutely nothing to do with daddy issues. No, it doesn’t mean you’d go and have sex with your father if only you could. Nothing that kind of creepy kind is happening here. All we’re here to talk about are some kinky plays that involve surrendering control and taking care of others. 

This Is Not an Indicator That You Have Daddy Issues

Having daddy issues doesn’t have you acting like a Little Girl, does it? This isn’t to say that some people don’t have daddy issues. Many of them surely do. But it’s important to say that it isn’t daddy issues that make you want to call your partner this in the bedroom. This kind of play has nothing to do with incest or wanting to have sex with your father. It’s imperative to remember that going forward. 

When a woman calls her partner “daddy,” she’s doing so because she sees him as someone dominant to her. Well, at least when it comes to sexy things happening in the bedroom. If it happens outside of the relationship, it means she sees him as someone who’s dominant in the relationship as a whole. 

If this sounds like Dom/sub relationships we often encounter in the BDSM community — good job; now you get it. People in the BDSM community definitely use this word when they have power plays. However, there’s one specific kink that requires you to surrender yourself to your daddy and be a good little girl. Welcome to the world of age play and DDLG kinks. We’re happy to have you. 

The DDLG Kink

Now, let’s really take a deep dive into what this could mean. Our first thought was Daddy’s Little Girl, and we weren’t that far off. DDLG is an abbreviation that stands for Daddy Dom/Little Girl. Again, it has absolutely nothing to do with wanting to participate in incest. This type of play is restricted to consenting adults only. Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk more about what makes this kink so fun.

To put it simply — there are different levels to this kink. It can be vanilla, kinky, or hardcore. What usually happens during plays is daddy is there as a caregiver. He will play with his Little Girl, provide her with toys that make her feel like royalty, as well as discipline her. Not all Little Girls are so innocent and sweet, after all. 

During plays, the Little Girl will most likely wear a certain outfit and act like a child for the sake of the play. She can also act like a young teenager. During the day, there will be something called “little space.” This part of the day exists so both partners can escape the responsibilities of the outside world and just play. 

When these plays are vanilla, it means they don’t require any sex or sexual acts to happen. Daddy and the Little Girl can simply be playing, and that’s the end of it. 

When it comes to kinky plays, the Little Girl will most likely act bratty. Daddy can’t have that happening, so he will punish and/or discipline her. This usually creates arousal or sexual tension that will lead to sex. 

The hardcore really speaks for itself. These are the classic Master/Slave plays where one completely surrenders control to the other. 

Men and Women Are Not So Equal After All

These days, women really try everything in their power to be independent. Depending on a man for anything is heavily frowned upon, and we’re not sure what the reason for that is. When you’re in a healthy relationship, some level of dependence surely exists. Maybe you won’t depend on them for money, but you can depend on them for emotional support. 

The fact that DDLG relationships are happy and healthy only proves that not all women want to be independent. Some want to completely depend on their significant other, and that’s okay too. Surrendering control isn’t easy, so not everyone could indeed handle it. 

Having a dominant partner is all fun and games when you’re in the bedroom. However, throughout your relationship, having a dominant partner is hard to put up with. They’ll tell you what to do, be there to support you in general, and they’ll offer to do anything for you. But that’s just the caregiver’s role. If you think that’s something you can handle, you should definitely try a DDLG relationship.

The Risk in DDLG Relationships

While it’s true that there are no risks for the Little Girl in the relationship, let’s talk about the Daddy Dom for a second. Constantly being a caregiver has its pros and cons. However, something that has a high risk of happening is burnout. 

In all of his caregiving, Daddy Dom could easily forget about himself and his own needs. Erasing the part of him that needs nurturing as well can be dangerous. What this can do is make him tired of the relationship. He’s the one doing all the work, all the caregiving — everything is on his back. No wonder he would become tired and want to leave.

That’s why every relationship, even Dom/sub ones, need a good balance. Sure, your Daddy will take care of you, but there are things you can do to take care of him as well. Try to give him extra love and attention while you play or simply cuddle. Make things about him sometimes. You can also give him a day off, showing him that you can be independent when you need to be. That will definitely make Daddy very proud. 

So, not only will he be proud, but he’ll have some time to take care of himself instead and do things he likes.


Now you can finally stop making a judgy face whenever someone says they call their partner daddy. In fact, maybe you can try it yourself. Control play is always fun, but you don’t only have to surrender your control. Ask your partner if they’d let you be the dominant one for a change. We’re sure they’d love that.

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Mandy Goudreau

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